sleep...

So, I haven't slept in the past three days. Why? I'm not sure. Probably random thoughts that I've suppressed over the past few months. Maybe stress from school or work or writing that certain missionary friend of mine. I'm just not sure. Sadly, it has made me sick. I've always wondered about that kind of thing. In the past, I was a psychology major, this kind of stuff still intrigues me. Now that I have learned to handle stress in a different manner, have I made it easier to build up all of my emotions inside? Will I explode from bottling things up without knowing it? Well, it's happening. I just don't get it. Some of the time, I thought maybe I was just hanging around Richard too much, and that was a stress. Though it would be more of a stress if I didn't have him around every day. Sorry to drag all who reads this into the vast space of a pinball machine brain I have. I'm just a psychological mess. Maybe in a few weeks, everything will be better. I hope.

Ta

Life... and stuff like that...

:: sigh :: ..... I'm not sure what to think. Everything is changing. Last week, I turned in my application to Brighton Girls Camp. I feel good about being up there again this summer. I really believe I need that time to think. There are so many desicions that I need to make in this next year, that I'm not sure I'm really ready for. namely:

1. A mission... I feel really strongly about going, yet... it doesn't feel like I should. I do have school in the way. The most logical thing is for me not to go... I know that I have Brighton, plus later on in my life I can go with my husband. It's just a bummer that every time I think about it, it's a no... :(

2. School. Even if it were to feel right, I would be very much behind in school. I could deal with that, but things would be messy and complicated when I return home. I would have to try and apply for nursing school right when I get home, and then I probably would get married, or get annoyed that I have to wait to get married because of school and financial situations... it's a mess.

Anyway, I'm just going to keep doing the right things in my life and continue feeling this happiness that I've felt in the last 2 months. Everything is different. different like when I went to Brighton last summer. I'm me. I'm finally me; able to make right decisions, not too insane (haha), and feeling so much closer to my Heavenly Father because I'm finally doing somethig right.

I know I have a lot left to do, but I'm excited to keep these changes going. It's great when you look in the mirror, and there is a different but better person looking back at you. Change is good, when it's right. Make the right choices! Change for the better!

so long kids...