Wednesday, March 6, 2013

"The appropriate question is 'when' in the heck are they."


I just realized I never posted this. It was a draft in my dashboard... Here we go...


Some may have noticed my disappearance from blogging for two years... Well, lets recap.

Engagement:

January 14, 2009

After a long fight with Rich the day before, I didn't think I'd see him today. A year ago today, we told
each other we loved each other. We planned on going to the Spaghett
i Factory every year on this day (that's where we went a year before). He took me there before my Lacrosse game that night. Dinner was great, we were talking a little bit more, and not arguing as much. We drove to Kaysville for my game. We won! It was great and so much fun. Richard was so excited. On the way back to salt lake, he said "Hey you have your new camera and it's a nice night. You want to drive up over by Larry H. Miller's house and take pictures of the valley?" This is where both of us opened up to each other and told each other secrets about our lives, and such. I was so tired I said sure. We drove up there and he said "Th
at would be a great picture of the temple! You should take one." While I was taking the picture, I had no idea that he was on his knee behind me. Then he called my name. I turned, to find him with a ring on his knee asking to marry him. All I could say was "Hi?" I was in shock, but it was amazing. It didn't totally hit me until later, but I was so happy. I later found out he asked my parent's permission that same night before we left while I was in another room. So sneaky.

Wedding Plans:

There is too much info to fit into thi
s section. I'll just say it was sometimes a disaster. We picked our Photogapher Pete, because I was looking around online at photographers and I found a girl with the dress I had pictured in my mind. The funny thing was, she had the same future last name! We figured out wh
o she was and where she got the dress, and I did some of my own altering to it.
My bridesmaids dresses where made by the same lady who altered my dress, and she did a wonderful job. I think Mia, Ashli, and Muffy all loved them. (at least I hope)
The cake was such a fun thing to design. We chose Herita
ge Gardens as the venue (my cousin Kalli had her wedding there) I felt that the cake should be centered around my dress. So it had a sage green bow, and pearls. we kind of gave it a Alice in Wonderland cake feel. It was great. The top layer to save, brownie, middle, key-lime, and bottom sugar cookie. I'm not a fan of cake so sugar cookie was a good compromise.

August 5, 2009
I'm skipping... but plans can be told here. After a night of 2 hours of sleep (disagreements w/ my father) I woke up. Me, my mom, and Richard drove up to Lunatic fringe where the best chica ever did our makeup (me and my mom lol) and hair. Very early morning... Richard and I drove from there to th
e temple, where we waited which seemed forever for the ceremony. It was beautiful. Wonderful words were said, and the best spiritual feelings were present. It was sad not to have my parents there, but I was surrounded by other family and very dear friends.
Rushing back to the waiting room area in the temple, my mom helped me put on my wedding dress. It was gorgeous. I felt gorgeous. Mckinsey put beautiful orchids in my hair as well as my veil, and I was ready to go. Pictures galore were taken and it felt like a dream. We all migrated toward the Lionhouse where our little luncheon was held. The food was fabulous. I think I could eat 20 or more of their rolls.
Richard and I needed to check in to the place we spent the night before 4, so I changed out of my dress again and we were off. It was a weird feeling sitting in the car together, married. It felt like we were just imagining it. Just up the road was the reception center where we walked through what we were going to do for the ring ceremony. The place was beautiful. Sage green ribbon on all the chairs, beautiful table cloths, white orchids everywhere. I loved it. We only had one problem though. The weather was struggling and so having the ceremony outside didn't work very well. It was sad but it all turned out fine. My bridesmaids helped me get ready and we all walked down the stairs. I was already married, but I still felt nervous. A long time family friend spoke during our ceremony and it was a perfect fit. He said everything perfectly.
Reception... Long... I felt like we stood forever. It was fun greeting people and seeing my bridesmaids and bridesmen (lol cody and josh) wandering around talking to people seeing everyone enjoy the fun. My
brother's friend had a band that played, including my friend Dan on the sax. We ended the night with bouquet throwing (my cousin caught) garter (my friend Dylan) and swing dancing. The dancing was hard to do in my dress but it was worth it. Richard and I said our goodbyes and wandered off to our crazily decorated car and drove off.
Two days later, we spent a wonderful week in Maui, Hawaii.
Biking, hiking, surfing... just having an adventure. It was wonderful. I hope to go back soon. We had the condo my parents use sometimes and were just a walk away from the beach.  We traveled through the Road to Hanna and Lahaina. It was so much fun to be on an adventure with my lovely one. :)

adieu...

Just thinking...


Snowdrops in the Rain
Ivan Drever & Duncan Chisholm

It will take time, time before it’s better.
It will take time before the sun will shine.
It will take time for pain and hurt to wander. 
Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain. 

All the time they gave us all their lovin’
All the time they filled us full of joy. 
All the time they spent with us was precious 
Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain. 

We give our hands to help you through the heart ache.
We give our hands to help to ease the pain.
We give our hands for something to hold on to.
Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain.

All the time they gave us all their lovin’ 
All the time they filled us full of joy. 
All the time they spent with us was precious.
Let me tell you there’ll be snowdrops in the rain. 

You know our thoughts are with you through the day time.
You know are thoughts are there to help you through.
You know are hearts are aching for your children.
Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain.

All the time they gave us all their lovin’.
All the time they filled us full of joy. 
All the time they spent with us was precious. 
Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain.

Let me tell you they’ll be snowdrops in the rain.

What to do...

It has been a LONG time... Things have changed drastically since my last post. I'm married, still in school, and struggling along in life unhappily. What happened?

Do you ever feel like you just make all the wrong decisions in life? I know I do. I'm in the worst place of thinking in the past and having no way to bring that past to the present. I'm still wondering why I was not accepted to Brighton those two summers I applied. I know Richard was around, but what is the deeper meaning?

I feel as though I've lost a limb. I've told this description to someone in my past to describe them as one that if I lost them as a friend or anything, it would be like losing a limb. I feel it's gotten to that point. I feel like such an idiot. I was ne'er clear, they were never clear. I knew their thoughts but at the time looked right past them as they were so hypocritical. Why couldn't I just get a simple straight answer. Why so much later am I stuck with the unhappy consequences. It was all right there in front of me and I was just a stupid girl. I'm still a stupid girl, but now with empty memories I dot know what to do with.

Would life be different? Would I still be struggling so much in school? Would I have gone in a mission? I can't help but look at the what ifs because I'm miserable. Old junior high/high school Clover thoughts are coming back again.

I don't know who will bother to read this, I just hope I'm not so easily read through this kind of vague speech as the one I am speaking of would read right through. That limb is hanging by a thread. Don't fall completely off just because I'm broken.

Hope for a better day...